THE GLAND PUPPIES CASSETTE TAPES:

Fish Not Your Will! Story Be Ordinary (This)

60 min. (release date 8/15/88)

Featuring: Pencil In My Navel, Very Nice, Love Me Now or Later, Hope You Get Well Soon, Please Refrain From Eating Live Squid, When the S**t Hits the Fan (Live), Standard Gauge, Flip & Scream, Y, Don't Be Your Dog's Dung, Bigfoot, Golden Years Nursing Home, plus exclusive interview clips.


Get Out of My Toilet!

60 min. (release date 1/15/89)

Featuring: Upchuck, Looks Like You Had a Sick Dog, Elephant Man (BURP), Nad's Wool, Every Rose Has Its Thorn (Japanese Version), Chicken Bomb, Standard Belch, Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet (Was a Dog Biscuit), I've Got Pants On (Not Like You!).


Please Refrain From Eating Live Squid

20 min. (release date 4/2/89)

Featuring: Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet, Chicken Bomb, Bamboo, Looks Like You Had a Sick Dog, Please Refrain From Eating Live Squid.


Shish Kababy

60 min. (release date 5/25/89)

Featuring: The Been Factory, Stomp the Psycho Monkey, Bamboo*, Love #1, Chicken Bomb*, Please Refrain Form Eating Live Squid*, Mama Had a Baby, Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet*, Aloanghone, Ugly Stick, Snow Whiteq, Looks Like You Had a Sick Dog*, That Steak.


This Tape Will Make You Fart

60 min. (release date 8/13/89)

Featuring: Emmet the Pismire, Satan is Trapped Inside the Body of Joe the Dog, Dr. Microwave, Hyena-Q, Been Factory (Remix)*, Gaylord, Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet (Dance Version), King Zob Goes To a Farm, Stomp the Psycho Monkey (Remix)*, Blood Stains, Drink a Milkshake Through Your Nose, The Epic Saga of King Zob, Crazy Old Harold Schrader Found Asphyxiated By His Own Genitalia, Hokey Pokey (Live).


Ear's Music

60 min (release date 9-31-89)

Featuring: Where'd Ya Get That Water?, Repo Spam, The Voice Was coming From the Man Who's Head had Exploded!, On the Verge of Maximum Masticating Satisfaction, Squeezing Bob, Bill's Box (looks like it's time to clip your toenails, Charlie), My Tongue's to Big, Forever My Fiend, Where'd Ya Get That Water (premix), W.D.I.E., Günter is the Reproduction Man, Keep Me in Your Will, Instrumental #1, Instrumental #2, Rot-Gut, Underwater Insect, 1990 Overture, Hakana Manora Fest 1990, Apple Juice Massacre (Crap).


Classic Egg Favorites (available on tape only)

60 min. (release date 11-4-89)

A "Best-of" Compilation through 1989 plus several new songs, Featuring: Giant Slalom Death, Satan is Trapped Inside the Body of Joe the Dog*, Flight of the Barking Death Squirrels, Been Factory*, Measure My Pubic Hair (Ooky-Oooo Meets the Larnax), Dr. Microwave*, Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet (Was a Dog)*, The Epic Saga of King Zob and His Green Aliens & Ham*, Stomp the Psycho Monkey*, Looks Like You Had a Sick Dog*, Hyena-Q*, Chicken Bomb*, Emmet the Pismire*, Snow Whiteq*, Nad's Wool*, That Steak*.


I Am Currently Attacking Your Dog With Rubber Gloves. (The Things I Do, It Says It Loves.)

60 min. (release date 1/1/90)

Featuring: Giant Slalom Death, Been Factory, Measure My Pubic Hair (No Thanks), Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet Was a Dog, Flight of the Barking Death Squirrels, Dr. Microwave, Dr. Squid's Clock, Chicken Bomb, Satan Is Trapped Inside the Body of Joe the Dog, Snow Whiteq, Hyena-Q, Gunter is the Reproduction Man, That Steak, On the Verge of Maximum Masticating Satisfaction, Looks Like You Had a Sick Dog, The Epic Saga of King Zob and His Green Aliens & Ham*, Please Refrain from Eating Live Squid.


"Soccer Ear-Fob"

30 min. (release date 3/24/90)

Featuring: My Catapult Named Professor Stain that Sends Dogs Sailing Towards Certain Death., This Girl Said, "Don't You Know My Dog Fiber?" I Looked At Her and Screamed, "BURBUR!", Monkey Madness, My Half Brother, Vomit, Keeps Saying, "Clotwurst!" Clotwurst, Clotwurst...Clotwurst, Clotwurst, Clotwurst!, Measure My Pubic Hair (Ooky Oooo Meets the Larnax), Flight of the Barking Death Squirrels, Giant Slalom Death, Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet Was a Dog, How the Mouth Walks.

Lyrics


"Secret Love"

30 min. (release date 8/15/90)

'Rock-opera' based on the mystery surrounding the demise of Crazy Bill Pineapple. Featuring: Introduction, Thomas Nostril, My Feet, My Hand, And I Wish..., The Debate, Here Comes Mrs. Penny, Rib the Reporting Monkey, Mrs. Bill Pineapple, Secret Love Finale/Medley, along with narration.

Lyrics


BIG POO GENERATOR CASSETTE TAPE AND COMPACT DISC:

Big Poo Release

cassette tape 60 min. (release date 9/1/91)

Featuring: Rear Entry Pants, Mr. Poo, Foodballs, Puphy the Carrot, Toilet 4 2, Mr. Hamburger, Hound Dog Part 1, Bagpoops, Gorgon 5, My Poo, My Poo, Lesbians...They're OK, Everybody Wash (Live), And I Poo, The Epic Saga of King Zob and His Green Aliens & Ham (Live), Hound Dog Part 2, Guacamole.

Lyrics


Please Kill Us

Compact Disc 60 min. (release date 5/27/92)

Seattle's great independent label, C/Z Records, released Please Kill Us as the first issue of Spoo Disc Quarterly, a limited CD pressing of 1,000 copies. Contains the same material that is on Big Poo Release. Collectors item for sure! Extremely limited supply.

Lyrics


Eschaton

30 min. (release date 9/1/92)

Featuring: The Hyper-zone, Sing It, Mrs. Ass, I'm Going to Kick Myself In the Balls, Rockin' Retard, Kid Headly: The Dog With an Enormous Head, I Believe in Conservation, Slammin' Sam the Basketball Ham, Come Dance With Dr. Tardcraft, Bill Harris.

Lyrics


ABE LINCOLN & THE STINCOLNS AUDIO BOOK CASSETTE TAPES:

T.V. Tards

60 min. (release date 12/25/93)

A beautiful reading of the T.V. Tards tale of love and war. Includes another short story, The Best of Both Worlds, and songs: Penis Smells Poopie, Plepesisio-H, Ben Bradley's Penis, Take This Dog and Shove It, and Frank Sinatra's amazing rendition of The Impossible Dream!


It, the Tard

60 min. (release date 5/18/94)

The heterotards delve deeper into the eidetic landscape of contradiction. The happy-go-lucky attitude of T.V. Tards is replaced by a callous and hypercritical perspective on life. Includes classic stories; The Retard Who Would be King, Hammer Vs. Head, Shit Eater, Bathroom Poetry and 6 songs.


HEMORRHOY ROGERS AND THE RRHOID BOYZZZZZ!!!!!

Cream of What!?!?

2hrs (release date ?/??/??)

A musical travesty, goes beyond the bounds of stupidity and desire. See what happens when musical theives forget the difference between love, hate and revenge. This 2 hour (over 100 songs - all about a guy named, 'Hemorrhoy') epic will rock your pathetic little world, and make you sick! A 'must have' in any bad music collection.

Lyrics


Clippity Klopp Don't Rob Me

Compact Disc (release date ?/?/98)

Includes: King Henry had a nipple shaped like a dinosaur, HemorrhoyĠs theme song, Plepesisio H, My dog is a rock climbing fool, Eye got legs, I can't go to the bathroom (Boot-ram), Real cowbots have short feet, The kite that flew up your mom's ass and out of the window, Run like the wind, I'm retarded (remix), Eat dream kill eat, ability (Ben Franklin fostered cream), On the day the horse humped the sheriff I swallowed a low-flying diaper, If I could make a living out of eating FOOD, You are thee tard, Not three late, Abe Lincoln won't no cowbot-death, Time for fun

Lyrics


(NOTE: * by song indicates that song version has been featured on a previous tape release).