Listen closely, Hemorrhoy's theme song

This was the first, or maybe third song explicitly recorded about a guy named Hemorrhoy Rogers. We named Hemorrhoy in a sudden epiphany of creative genius (the kind that rarely strikes even the most creative people) at a Taco Bell - Pizza Hut -KFC combo restaurant. It was a fast food joint not more than 30 miles from the Roy Rogers museum, out west near LA (in Victorville) before the museum moved to Branson, MO. As you might suspect, the name and proximity to the Roy Rogers museum was more than coincidence, but there isn't room or time here to explain why. The night before we'd been playing on the 3rd Street Promenade in downtown Santa Monica, trying to make money and pick up babes. On both aspects our efforts were miserable failures. After being pushed to the far end of the promenade by more aggressive street musicians (the ones with 'permits') we found ourselves playing the "I'd like to be like Mike" commercial jingle over and over again in the dark shadows of a multipurpose commercial-residential area. Some guy has just yelled at us to shut the f*** up from his upstairs apartment window and we were about to pack it up. Just then, in the final refrain of our final repetition of "I'd like to be like Mike" out of the shadows shot a short dark figure. A little guy, covered in shabby clothing who couldn't have been more that 5 feet tall ran up to one of our empty guitar cases. Without a word he threw in a fin ($5). As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared into the shadows. We couldn't believe it. We quickly packed up and took the fin to buy a hamburger. Anyway, the next day, sitting at the Taco Bell section of the Taco Bell - KFC - Pizza Hut fast food palace, we realized that that guy was probably Hemorrhoy Rogers and that we should sing his praises. Endlessly if possible. And so we did.

A high quality version of this song is available in the discography on this page