Soccer Ear Fob Lyrics

*This Girl Said, "Don't You Know My Dog Fiber?" I Looked at Her and Screamed, "BURBUR!"*

Like my underwear
Like my underwear
Like my underwear
Like the sheep that wail!
I've been aboard this happy toilet
Eating lots of food
Let me assure you, I've been goood!
Kill the dog that sleeps alone
Kill the dog, but not the bone
Kill the dog with human hair
Kill the dog with underwear!
Flaming rice on my forehead 
Will make you scream... WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM!
"Captain Poultry has told me a lot about Food Propaganda -- or as he calls it,
'Mutton Munch Shoe.'  He swears that he never goes to the bathroom.  This, to
me, seems odd because of the sheer amount of food that he eats.  I mean, he
eats a LOT of food.  He likes it I guess.  Food, that is.  In fact, I'm sure he
likes food.  He told me once that he liked food!"
TA-DAR!

*My Half-Brother, Vomit, keeps saying "Clotwurst"! Clotwurst, clotwurst, clotwurst, clotwurst, clotwurst*

Thumb your head jump
Bump your head thump
In dee dee do
Fee fob to you
Think about lunch
It's coming real soon
You'll eat a bunch
I'll crush your head
Hee-haw take a bow!
Fee-fob eat a razor
Journey through the digestive tract
of charlie chan the friendly alligator.
You'll make a styrofoam mold of your food.
Crochet your name on the head of some dude!
Don't fight with forks...

*Monkey Madness*

Monkey madness all around
Turtles flying off the ground
Screaming monkeys will kill your sleeping fish
"Hi there Mr. Wilton Honeydew Food... or should I say, 'Captain Poultry'?  Ha
ha ha."
"Well hello there little Stain.  What can I do to you today?"
"Can you hit me over the head with a baseball bat and tell me a story about
monkeys?"
"Oh, well ok.  I was in a store and I saw these monkeys playing.  I yelled to
them to darn their socks, but they didn't understand what I was saying!  But
they giggled harshly."
"That was a great story Captain Poultry.  Now could you sing me a song about
food?"
"OK.
Food, food, everywhere
Free the cow, free the chair
Lead me into a hamburger lair
Feed me anything, I don't care!"
Monkeys like food
Like food like burgers
Monkeys like burgers
Monkeys are burgers
Burgers are good
Monkeys are deadly!
"That was a great story Captain Poultry.  Now can you tell me another story
about monkeys?"
"Sure.
Most monkeys can swim.
This particular one cannot.
It tries to stay above the water,
but the anvil tied to its legs won't let it float!
Food, food, everywhere
That cow, that dog,
that funny monkey.
THAT FUNNY MONKEY!
That funny monkey looks confused.
Let's eat the funny monkey.
LET'S EAT THE FUNNY MONKEY!
LET'S EAT EAT EAT THAT FUNNY MONKEY!
"What did the monkey look like?"
His face was like a beam of sunshine that spears me in the eye.
Food, make me happy!
Food in my tummy
Monkey in my tummy make me happy!

*Abe Lincoln's Exploding Pet Was a Dog*

Abe Lincoln's exploding pet was a dog
Abe Lincoln's exploding pet was real neat!
Abe named his dog Butch
It was a fine name
He only had to call him that for two and one half days
Abe was the 16th president of the United States
When his dog exploded, Tom Smith didn't care in the least.
I saw Abe's grave once
I touched his nose.
Then he sat up and built an igloo!

*My Catapult Named Professor Stain that Sends Dogs Sailing Towards Certain Death*

It's an everlasting eyeball
An everlasting eyeball
The harmony
The melody
The symphony of eye
When you die, you'll know why you cried from your eye.
Comedy...tragedy...I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

*Measure my Pubic Hair*

Music, this is music
I open my mouth and out comes music
This is the dumbest music ever made
Fountain of youth
Spurting from a dog
River of red, soon you'll be dead
Seems kind of odd...oh gee.